The Double Standard of Pregnancy

There is one thing our society teaches women: they will never do anything greater than have children. Everywhere there is discussion of reproduction. From the highest level of our government with the President signing bills concerning whether or not a woman has the right to choose if she gives birth all the way to the insistent allusions to ticking biological clocks from strangers in passing, the issue of child bearing is a hot topic. Children are glamorized in every aspect of our Society. They are the future that the people must preserve our planet for, the hopes of tomorrow that carry on our legacy, and the icons to be better humans. The desire for children is broadcast for every family unit: heterosexual, homosexual, single or any variation in between.

Every media outlet is sure to let women know their job in life: to produce babies. Every middle class mother on television, in books, on the movie screen is shown telling their daughters, friends, husbands, doctors, and whoever will listen that having a baby is the single most important thing they will ever do in their life. It is all they want, it is the only thing to make life complete. Years ago it was marriage which held this sort of esteem, though only because it lead to baby making. Now that a woman no longer needs to be married, or even have sex with a man, in order to have children the nuptials are no longer important. And it is not enough for a woman just to rear children, to love them, to help them form as individuals. No. A woman must /birth/ a child. Only if a child is a biological match is it truly accepted, loved, and seen as the holy grail. Then the list of acceptable alternative methods declines from there. If a woman cannot physically give birth, she should find a surrogate to implant her egg in, or have the egg implanted with sperm by the doctor and then harvested into her uterus. On the bottom rung of the childbirth pool is adoption. It is only acceptable as a last resort.

With these messages running hard, fast, and furious through our society I am not surprised that girls are becoming pregnant sooner and sooner. I have read articles that attribute this to early puberty, the increase in sexuality in the media, the lack of proper sex education, and the dominance of men in our culture. While I do not doubt these things play a part in the rise of teenage pregnancies, I do not think that part is as large as we are being asked to believe. I believe teenage girls are taking this message of only being as worthy as the children they produce to heart.

There are countless studies showing the lack of self-worth in the majority of teenage girls. As women we understand the feelings of oppression that we face every day. We know what it is like to be forced to adhere to gender roles and society standards in order to survive. It was not long ago that we weren’t even allowed to vote, much less live our lives without being attached to a man. While the options a woman has has greatly increased, sometimes the future looks bleak. Especially for the girl who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. The girl who feels left behind and left out. The girl who struggles to know herself or find a way in this world that is hers. A girl who is told she will never be able to be more than a waitress at a restaurant, or a rich man’s wife.

And when these messages of being worthless, unimportant, and lackluster are at their boiling point, when a teenage girl is so confused and frustrated with life and is at the whims of hormones and sorting our her own thoughts, there are the constant reassurances that babies make life better. There is no better feeling than holding one’s child in one’s arms. No one will ever love a woman the way her child does. If the child does well, then the mother is to thank, the mother has proven herself worthwhile. There is nothing in life that can ever compare to having a baby.

It doesn’t surprise me that our girls don’t listen to us when we tell them to wait to have sex and when we warn them about pregnancy and STDs. They don’t care, because even if they do have a baby, it will be the most beautiful, wonderful thing to ever happen. We tell our girls to go to college, to get a job, to travel the world and then have babies. We tell them not to ruin their lives so early on, not to get tied down to childcare and mortgage payments. That is like a whisper amongst the shouting of millions. Why should they waste so much time in college, in a career even, when their entire life will boil down to having a child? Why do we expect our young girls to heed our advice when we still put so much emphasis on them creating life?

No, I am not surprised that teenage pregnancy is on the rise, and I am not surprised that so many young girls are trying to get pregnant in order to fill something inside of them. It’s what our world is encouraging them to do, and until we begin to change that message, things will not change.

Chelsea Lately Guest “Ruby”

There has been some discussion throughout the FA community about the show Ruby on the Style Network. I haven’t watched the show, nor do I want to. I don’t think I’m ready to face that kind of message, being so new to the FA world. However, Ruby’s interview with Chelsea bothered me, especially when it came to the discussion of her boyfriend.

Apparently Ruby’s boyfriend from the show dumped her because she was unable to lose weight. Ruby went on to say that she doesn’t blame him because men are more partial to the physical, they can’t help it and that’s the way they’re born, and so her boyfriend couldn’t get over the physical. She also states women are more nurturing. It seems like the Style Network went out and found the most accurately media-defined woman and gave her a show. What do I mean by accurately media-defined woman? I mean the women that are portrayed in every television show, book, movie, and newspaper article. It’s the woman who is completely convinced that the world’s “truths” are absolute and has never considered to question otherwise. It’s the woman who has been trained to fit the universal gender role, and thinks this is the way it is supposed to be. It is the woman who hasn’t even considered accepting herself for who she is but instead believes in fitting in at all costs. It’s just sad folks.

Ruby really does seem like a lovely person. She comes across, in the interview at least, as sweet, loving, and caring. Yet, I can’t help but wonder how much of that is really her and how much of that is what she thinks she’s supposed to be. I don’t know about anyone else, but when a person has such a large part of herself defined by other people, it makes me very suspicious. I also wonder if she’s exhibiting those traits as a way to make up for how much she weighs. This thought really breaks my heart. Perhaps it was because only a short while ago I was extremely similar to this woman. I was ashamed about my weight and would have done anything to get rid of it. While I had learned to appreciate some of my untraditional beauty, there wasn’t more than a second that went by when I wouldn’t have traded it in to look like Pam Anderson or Angelina Jolie. What I wouldn’t give to be able to just put that first inkling of self-acceptance in these women’s heads. I wish I could be the spark. I understand truly how empowering that spark can be.

So I’m thinking about starting an email campaign for Ruby. I encourage everyone to go to her blog and leave information about FA and Intuitive Eating. Go to the show message boards and share information about Health at Every Size. However, please remember to be extra special polite. We are likely going to face a lot of resistance and debate, and possibly even some trolls. I do not support fighting fire with fire though. I believe in non-violent communication and resistance, which means do not respond to snark with snark, leave sarcasm out of your discussion posts, and ignore any intentional bullying. Stick to the fact, stick to being supportive and helpful, and don’t waste your time arguing with people who honestly don’t care what you have to say they just want to discredit you.

I think this is a great opportunity to share our FA with people who likely haven’t been exposed. Ruby has great charisma, and she can relate to the general population of woman out there. The same women we want to reach with our message of hope, love, and acceptance.

Alternet Articles on Feminist Issues

I thought this was a really informative and well written article on Alternet about misogyny in the military. I think this is a topic that is completely under-publicized and needs to be brought into the light.

There is also an article on feminism and sex workers that is very well done.

The feminist movement has several issues it focuses on as a whole which revolve around equality in at work and home, and autonomy. Yet severe issues like being able to serve one’s country with honor and living one’s life by making money from sex is glossed over and swept under the rug. I think it’s time these issues were exposed and remedied.

Glade’s Opinion of Women

The first Glade recent Glade commercial I’ve seen is where the leading lady lights a candle in her fancy little black dress and answers the door to find her friends waiting there. Of course they oooh and aaah over the fragrance, and instead of this woman confiding in her friends that she could buy this great product which doesn’t cost a lot, she decides to tell a bold faced lie. Yes, instead of sharing frugal tips with her friends she decides to act like she got a flippin’ candle from France, because being a bougy upper middle class person and flaunting one’s privilege always earns respect and envy. Of course, her friends all laugh and point out the lady has a Glade sticker on her bum. It’s just so funny when friends lie about things that don’t even matter! I thought this commercial would be one of a kind and Glade would realize how big of an idiot they’re being.

Instead there has been two more wonderfully intelligent commercials released. One playing to the holistic culture where this pompous woman invites her friends over for Yoga and tries to brag on the scent which makes her connect with her inner self. Of course, more giggling from the friends when they realize it’s a Glade plug-in. I haven’t quite decided if these friends are laughing because their hostess is so friggin’ stupid or if it’s a message from Glade that all women are airheads whom think lying and being pretentious is cute. I wish I could find links to these commercials y’all, but I’m sure you’ve seen them.

The one I dislike the most, which I am hard pressed to say, let me tell you, is where our lady is in the bath tub and is rung up by her friend. Then, of course, is the need to lie to said friend about being in a spa. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Seriously, Glade, what the hell possessed you to approve and produce such a bunch of bloody rubbish? I have to swear at you in British I’m so flippin’ angry and irritated by this. It’s just absurd. I swear I will never buy another Glade product, or any product produced by the mother company, for this atrocity. And you bet your sweet patootie that I’m going to be writing a strongly worded letter to Glade. I won’t be holding my breathe for a reply, but at least I’m speaking out.

I just don’t understand why they feel the need to portray women as lying, deceiving, privileged assholes. Nor do I understand how they expect to sell products, which are targeted towards women, this way. I would seriously like to meet the woman who watches these commercials and goes “AMAZING! I want to be just like this woman! Let me rush out to the store and buy Glade products so I can pretend to be something I’m not and try to make everyone else see me as better than them! That’s a marvelous idea!”

Is this the world we live in? Where people feel the need to pretend to be privileged and wealthy instead of just being who they are? Do we still feel the desire to assert superiority over others and maintain dominance? It’s just so sad.

The Significances of Hair

I have had long hair all my life. Usually it is shoulder-length, but has never been shorter than the chin, at least not until 2005. That is when I decided to shave my head. I did this for a lot of reasons. My Great Aunt was dying of cancer, and had lost all of her hair because of Chemotherapy. I’m not very good at socialization, but I wanted to connect with her in a way that let her know everything I was feeling and maybe let her know that even though I didn’t come around as much as everyone else, or sit by her bedside to hold her hand the last week before she died, that I loved her and she was a profound part of my life. It was also during a time when I wanted to question gender roles and female stereotypes. My husband and I challenge gender roles in nearly ever aspect of our relationship, and yet I find myself constantly questioning my femininity because I don’t cook or clean or do other “womanly work”, nor do I typically look like a woman “should”. I have never been a fan of make-up or nail polish, I don’t care about fashion or cute shoes or trendy purses; I couldn’t care less about starting a family or getting my hair done. I had felt like my second X chromosome was asleep. A hair cut, at first glance, doesn’t seem like much of a statement, but it was monumental. Not only I was challenging people’s interpretations of what a woman with a shaved head is (a butch lesbian? a transgender? a freak? a goth?), but also my own.

Hair has always been a major talking point through history. In the 18th century women either had long curly hair, where they wore a hat, or extreme wigs or hair which were piled high upon the head. In the 19th century, women who were out in society wore their long hair up as was proper, though country women (seen as less refined) wore it down, the length was still in question. In the 1960s, women had long, free flowing hair in rebellion of the culturally acceptable style. As far as I can tell, the only time women were ever encouraged to have short hair was during the 1920s – 1940s when flappers and Big Band Music was in style, although any shorter than chin/mid-cheek sparked questions and concerns. As a reality TV watcher, shows like American’s Next Top Model, and Paris Hilton’s BFF show girls breaking down into hysterics if anyone dares suggest they cut their hair short, dye it a new color, or do anything outside of the girl’s comfort zone. Many times I’ve heard the young women proclaim, “I don’t want it to change who I am!” What an absurd idea really.

As far as the feminist movement has come, there is so many little things which seem to be overlooked. Rosie the Riveter, an icon for the women during WWII who had to go to work, is shown with her beautiful clear skin and perfectly done up hair despite the hard days spent in the factories, and Wo! Magazine’s call to femininity with a thin, naked woman who has flowing hair and holding up the world. It seems the farther we fight society for our freedom, the more we lock ourselves into certain boxes.

Shaving my head provided the confidence for me to try several other variations including shaving my eyebrows and rocking a Mohawk. That’s not to say that this transition was easy and went along smoothly. My husband wasn’t 100% on board at the beginning, and we struggled and discussed and debated. While I was outwardly convincing him, I was internally trying to find my own strength and acceptance. I had to know that no matter how much I didn’t look like what society deemed a woman, that I still was. It seemed like as soon as I was comfortable with the idea, my husband followed suit (or perhaps he realized it was something I was going to do either way, so he better hop on board or risk the consequences). Now, my current hairstyle has settled somewhere in the middle and my days of asking “Is this womanly enough?” have dwindled.

Reward Instead of Punishment

I have never really understood why our society teaches to punish bad behaviors, but not reward for the good. If someone does what they are supposed to, then they are ignored. There have been countless stories about children in this dynamic. The one child who makes good grades, stays out of trouble and lives life doing the right thing is overlooked while the child who doesn’t do quite as well in school, gets into trouble and makes mistakes has attention poured on them. Granted, this attention is usually negative but any attention is better than no attention. At least, that’s what most child psychologists will explain to exasperated parents. And as so many things in life, that which we learn as children carries over into our adult life.

In an ideal world, perhaps those who did the right thing wouldn’t need praise because there wouldn’t be so many negative aspects. However, let’s be realistic. The world isn’t ideal and the people who do the right thing are lessening all the time. I believe in rewarding people for doing what they’re supposed to do. I’m not sure where the idea that doing right means not receiving love and appreciation, but I would wager a guess it can be traces through religion (specifically Christianity), but that may just be my bias. Specifically…

I believe when a man does not beat his wife, he should be praised and appreciated. I’m sure everyone can agree that men have always been the dominant figure. They are taught to only show “strong” emotions, and never weakness like sadness, mercy, or sympathy. Men are taught that they must defend their home, their families, and their country. Men are taught that to be men they must take part in “man” activities which are often violent, such as contact sports and hunting. Men are encouraged to undervalue women, to not maintain committed long-term relationships, and to gratify their animalistic desires to procreate, dominate, and destroy. Thus, when a man realizes that what society teaches them is wrong, that they don’t have to resort to violence, or be “tough” or dominate, they deserve to be praised.

When parents don’t beat their children, they deserve to be recognized and appreciated. So many things go into this. Violence often comes from people who lack the ability to express themselves with words, and our society has a history of oppressing every emotion, especially those deemed “sinful”. People still have not learned to communicate, or how to not control. Parents are taught to see their children as property that they have to control and mold, like some sort of pet. Women were also forced into the role of motherhood, unable to use birth control to stop unwanted pregnancies or have abortions when mistakes happen. They were forced into marriage and taught that they weren’t people, but living incubators whose sole purpose was to create life and obey their husbands. Men were forced into the role of fathers and husbands, before they even reached maturity. See above point concerning men and violence. Another factor is parents were taught to discipline their children with violence, do we forget the phrase “spare the rod, spoil the child”? Therefore, when parents learn that they cannot control every aspect of their child and cannot beat these children into submission, they should be praised. When parents learn that the way they were raised, and the discipline they received was not the most healthy way, they should be praised. When they realize their parents were human, and made mistakes, and they should learn from these mistakes and try to find a better way to raise their children, they should be praised. When parents realize they need to use their words to express disappointment, pain, fear, uncertainty instead of violence, they should be praised. When women know they don’t have to be mothers, and instead are able to make an educated choice from desire and love, they should be praised. When people stop looking at having children as an unfortunate event, something that ruins their life, and ends all their dreams, they should be praised.

I could go on for pages. I could list the reasons why someone who owns their privilege should be praised, or a teenager who doesn’t succumb to peer pressure to have sex or do harmful drugs, or when people aren’t homophobic or racist or sexist should be praised. We all know the stereotypes. We have to look at the state of the world, and see that obviously “punish the sin” only mentality is not working. People are tired of feeling ashamed when they make a mistake and being ignored when they try to be good people. Folks are sick of being grouped in with the negative, and being called out and insulted when they try to stand up and disassociate themselves.

It has always been my policy in life to ignore those who do the horrible things, because no attention is worse than calling them out, and to lavish praise, appreciation and acceptance on those who do the right thing.

Margaret Cho, Misogyny and Feminism

So Margaret Cho is catching a lot of flack for her post concerning Sarah Pallin. Now, let me go ahead and say that yes, this post is misogynous. Yes, Margaret Cho was crude and crass and unladylike, and yes, in addition to being a smart, independent, successful women who happens to be a mother (and completely fucking ridiculous in her beliefs) Pallin is also incredibly attractive. I doubt I would do dirty things to her, because her personality totally turns me off, but I get where everyone is coming from.

I would also like to say that yes, it pisses me off when the only thing people have to talk about concerning Pallin is how she looks. I was watching the Letterman show yesterday (ya know, when he was pissed McCain bailed on him and so he had to lash out at our Republican candidate any way possible) and his music guy (why are they letting this guy talk anyway?) was all like “yeah, Sarah Pallin is hot. har har har”. It’s ridiculous and offensive and worst of all, it’s unoriginal and unintelligent.

However, in this case, it’s MARGARET FUCKING CHO yo. She has made her living off being a female shock jock if you will. She talks about being a lesbian, pussy, orgasms, sex, gay men, lube and any other sexually driven taboos the Western world knows (maybe even the Eastern when she takes it home). This is what she does. It’s not always intelligent comedy like George Carlin, but it is meant to shock, appall and make one think. I don’t agree with what Margaret Cho says, but I wasn’t surprised by it or disappointed. She’s doing her thing in a way only Cho knows how. Thus I say this Miss Cho:

Rock it, girl. Do your thang. Make your point and be true to yourself. Don’t backtrack just because a couple of people call you names and disagree. I mean, come on girl, isn’t that the whole point of what you’re doing? Aren’t you all about being outrageous and fabulous? And did you seriously do the whole “well she did it first and it’s /worse/ than what I said!” thing? Really? Margaret! You’re so much better than that. I think this response would definitely result in a “we don’t speak English” from your parents.

Reclaiming Bitch

Etmonline.com defines the origin of the word Bitch.

O.E. bicce, probably from O.N. bikkjuna “female of the dog” (also fox, wolf, and occasionally other beasts), of unknown origin. Grimm derives the O.N. word from Lapp pittja, but OED notes that “the converse is equally possible.” As a term of contempt applied to women, it dates from c.1400; of a man, c.1500, playfully, in the sense of “dog.” In modern (1990s, originally black English) slang, its use with ref. to a man is sexually contemptuous, from the “woman” insult.

“BITCH. A she dog, or doggess; the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of whore.” ["Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue," 1811]

The adj. bitchy “bad-tempered” (usually of females) is first attested 1925. The verb meaning “to complain” is at least from 1930, perhaps from the sense in bitchy, perhaps influenced by the verb meaning “to bungle, spoil,” which is recorded from 1823. But bitched in this sense seems to echo M.E. bicched “cursed, bad,” a general term of opprobrium (e.g. Chaucer’s bicched bones “(unlucky) dice”), which despite the hesitation of OED, seems certainly to be a derivative of bitch. And cf. the mid-19th century U.S. blackface minstrel song verse about women’s rights movement:

When woman’s rights is stirred a bit
De first reform she bitches on
Is how she can wid least delay
Just draw a pair ob britches on.

Insult son of a bitch is O.N. bikkju-sonr. Slang bitchen “good” is first attested 1950s. Bitch-goddess coined 1906 by William James; the original one was success.

Reading this, I am flabbergasted why any woman would want to be defined or referred to in this manner. As a term of contempt applied to women, it dates from c.1400; of a man, c.1500, playfully, in the sense of “dog.” Playfully? Really? Folks, you have to be kidding here. Really.

I get it. I get the whole reclaiming a word, trying to turn it into something which does not scald one to the very bone. I get the intellectual ideology behind this. Yet, I find myself asking Why the fuck would anyone want to reclaim such a word?

I say we should ignore its very existence. When someone uses that word in a derogatory manner, we should regard them in the very same way we would someone speaking another language. Instead of letting it affect us, instead of trying to reclaim it, why do we even acknowledge it? When so much of the world is built to oppress us right out of the gate, when we are conditioned to hate our bodies and to take as little space as possible, when the only acceptable way to be a woman is to be timid and fragile and quit, I get why we want to recondition ourselves to be strong. I get that we woman want to let the world know that strength is not a male attribute, that we can be powerful and bold and in-your-face. By using the word bitch to define one’s womanhood, I understand that they are trying to associate the word bitch with independence, choice, ambition. We were labeled with this word by the men of our past, without choice or agreement, and now we are trying to correct them, to reaffirm our place in the world.

I say fuck that. Since we were not given the right to decide whether we wanted it, or what definition and affiliations were given the word, why even give it credit? It is not a descriptive word where the definition was there before it was misaligned and misused. It is not like the word fat, or beautiful, or funny, or smart. These words have a definition which was put in place and only the reaction to the word is different as one’s culture changes. Instead bitch has always been an insult to the female. The negativity of it has never changed.

So that is why when a woman uses it to describe herself my heart weeps. I see blogs where women actually only refer to themselves using on this word. “This bitch” did this and “When I was a little bitch” and so on and so forth. When I see this, I struggle between AAAAAAAAAA! and wrapping them protectively in my arms before whisking them off for deprogramming. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we say we’re fighting the good fight, to be our own people, to live our lives the way we want to and yet still apply the same labels and thoughts and standards?

It just doesn’t make any sense. So next time someone uses this word to describe someone, just give them a blank stare. Next time the word bitch is spat in your direction, respond simply with “English Motherfucker, do you speak it?” Eliminate such filth from your vocabulary, from your memory, and from your future.

{Note: I have mulled over this post for quite a number of days. I’m not entirely happy with the way it came out, yet it is a notion I wish to express. So I am publishing this and welcome all feedback and I hope my words come across more cohesively to you than they do to me.}

Four Reasons PETA Will Not Get My Support

I am glad that there are animal rights activists. I believe strongly in protecting animals and trying to live harmonously with them. With PETA in particular, I feel the good they do is far outweighed by the bad. I believe the inconsistencies within their policies demonstrates ignorance, and I believe they perpetuate the objectification of woman.

4.Outdoor Cats: PETA does not believe in letting cats outdoors because of the increased risk of danager. I do agree with keeping pets inside and safe. We’re charged with their protection. They also support letting one’s cat outdoors with supervision. One of the other “uncompromised” stances of PETA, however, is their views on Zoos. PETA believes that “zoos and wildlife parks preclude or severly restrict natural behaviors, such as flying, swimming, running, hunting, climbing, scavenging, foraging, exploring and partner selection”. If this is the case, why are cats encouraged to be kept indoors and only let out under supervision? Cats are wild animals who were domesticated, and yet PETA does not want them to take part in their instintual activities. Yes, there is danger, but that danger is part of being an animal. Humans do offer an added level, but animals are incredibly adaptable. If PETA is going to be the voice of animals, shouldn’t they be consistent in what they’re fighting for?

3. Pit Bull Breeding: PETA’s website does not have a real stance on this. They speak about how the founding member, Ingrid Newkirk, has all these credentials but never do they give support for or against Pit Bulls. There is a generalized statement that all breeders are bad, and how the Pit Bull population by large is mistreated. The wording of this PETA stance implies that PETA supports this ban. I have to question why PETA is not supporting this breed of animal and its right to a happy life. PETA stands for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. This does not mean “some” animals or “from this approved list”, it means all animals. Yet there is no PETA support behind this misunderstood breed. There is no mention of the positive aspects of a Pit Bull, nor is there any attention brought to the fact that larger breed injuries are more likely to get noticed because the animal is stronger and bigger, not more aggressive, than the smaller breeds. An aggressive chihuahua which bites people (most often referred to as “nip”) isn’t regarded as a threat because this breed is less likely to draw blood or bring serious damage.

2. Euthanasia: PETA believes that euthanasia is “the most compassionate and dignified way for unwanted animals to leave an uncaring world” and that “no-kill shelters do not provide a solution to the problem of animal-companion homelessness”. I understand that the United States is overrun with homeless animals. This fact is heartbreaking and frustrating. However, to believe that killing off “unwanted animals” is an acceptable response to this is unacceptable. I especially don’t understand how a organization which rigidly supports animal rights such as not using them for entertainment, clothing, a food source, etc., could have an “uncompromised” stance that killing animals simply because they’re unwanted is okay.

1. Campaigns: PETA has a history of being sexist, racist, and violent.  The PETA YouTube
page shows video ad campaigns and celebrity endorsements. In one video, breed purity for animals was compared to the KKK. In the way of sexism, while PETA has showcased naked men (I can’t find any links, but I’ve heard things), they have a much higher percentage of using naked woman. One live protest has a topless woman caged in the streets, while another ad show a woman’s pussy with “too much” fur and how wrong it is. PETA openly admits they will use any tactic necessary to bring attention to animal rights. They also believe that liberation is directly related to the amount of clothing a woman wears. When questioned about this, their response was:

First, please know that, as an organization staffed largely by feminist women, we would not do something that contributed to the serious problems that women face. We feel that there is nothing shameful or “wrong” about being naked, and we believe that women (and men) should have the choice to use their own bodies to make social statements. This tactic has been used since at least the 11th century, when Lady Godiva rode naked on a horse to protest taxes on the poor. Far from being exploited, our “naked” demonstrators and billboard models choose to participate in our actions because they want to do something to make people stop and pay attention to animal abuse.

Take Traci Bingham, for example, who posed for our “All Animals Have the Same Parts” ad campaign (http://www.GoVeg.com/feat/tracibee/). She is a deeply committed vegetarian who is known to millions for her television work, such as beating out a platoon of men to excel in an endurance test called Boot Camp. She chose to use her body to bring public attention to a serious animal issue. In this case, Ms. Bingham felt offended by the traditional “meat” posters that treat animals as “parts” and she wanted to make the point that neither they nor women should be viewed as parts; we are all precious.

Consider that it is the societies that allow women to wear revealing clothing in which women have the most rights and the most power. Likewise, it is the societies that punish women for wearing revealing clothing in which women have the fewest rights and the least power they are considered chattel who must do as they are told. Should women only be allowed to participate in activism if they promise not to show their bodies or use them to make social statements? If a person chooses to use her physicality and sexuality to convey a message of her choosing, aren’t those who would censor her, even if their motives are well-intended, also somewhat guilty of disrespect and repression?

Although our use of “nudity” is attention-grabbing, we don’t rely on it for the majority of our outreach, nor do we use it gratuitously; it is intended to underscore our message, whether it is “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” to emphasize the health benefits of a vegetarian diet, or to show the vulnerability of animals in laboratories or circuses. We would also like to note that we do not feature only women in our more provocative ads; please see the following examples:

1· http://www.FurIsDead.com/feat-rodman2.asp
2· http://www.PETA.org/feat/jennaethan/
3· http://www.FurIsDead.com/feat-kristoff.asp

As if the ignorance was not clear enough, PETA has now resorted to using women stripping in order to “spread their message”. I support a woman’s right to autonomy. I also support educating women on where their sense of liberation comes from, and why perpetuating the ideal that a woman’s body is the only way to gain power, pride, acceptance, or attention.

Feminism, Priviledge, Race, and Other Stuff

I am Jewish. My people were ostracized, murdered, raped, beaten, enslaved, starved, branded, insulted, and completely out of control. My people still are murdered, raped, beaten, branded, insulted, discriminated against and they still have little control. In America, we are still without the ability to worship as we wish and not be made to feel ashamed. Jewish slangs still run wild, statements of a false messiah still shoved in our faces with “In G-d We Trust” on the currency we’re forced to use, a court system which requires us to swear on The New Testament to show our truthfulness, and the inability to wear our religious symbol, the Star of David, without being called heretics or witches. It is not okay to be Jewish in this society.

I am Native American. My people were enslaved, beaten, raped, murdered, starved, insulted, ostracized. They were forced off their lands and made to conform to the ideology of the settlers. They were stripped of their religion, clothing, education, social structure, and in essence, everything and forced to conform to ideals which they didn’t believe in. In America, we still are without these basic rights packaged into the “American Dream”. We live on reservations, and are “given” land out of the goodness of the government in which we can “be free” as we were all those years before the settlers came.

I am Fat. My people are insulted, beaten, raped, ostracized, and publicly ridiculed. We are lab rats where scientists strive to medically “fix” us, and shame into hating our very existence. We mutilate, torture, starve, neglect, and otherwise abuse ourselves, even when our captures stop, because we are told that we are wrong. We go out into the world every day and know people cross the street to avoid being around us, that women rush home to vomit what they’ve eaten because the idea of being us is terrifying, and that we are considered diseased.

I am a Woman. My people are insulted, beaten, raped, ostracized, regulated, enslaved, branded, starved, and have little to no autonomy. We have been subjected to this for ages. We have no say so over what goes into our body, nor what comes out. We are schooled to believe we cannot exist without a male counterpart, and that if we dare try to go against this education then we deserve whatever happens to us. We are ignored by the medical community, and any illness that just happens to pop up is considered due to hysteria, lack of childbirth, lack of marriage, lack of make-up, lack of hairspray, lack of femininity.

I am a Human Without Sexual Orientation. I am not attracted to a specific gender or sexual reproductive organs, I fall in love based on the soul attached to the body. My people are ignored at whatever lengths are necessary. If, by chance, we force attention upon ourselves then we are beaten, raped, murdered, insulted, and pushed back into the shadows with every fiber that people can muster. We cannot share intimate gestures with our partners, unless our couplehood can be seen as heterosexual in nature. Our lovers cannot match their bodies to their souls without being questioned, regulated, violated, governed and “allowed”. We cannot be who we are without being put under a microscope, studied, prodded, and analyzed.

I am Poor. I live below the poverty line. My mother and father do, my grandparents do, and my entire family line does. My people are ridiculed and punished. We are unable to find the stability to know when our next meal will come, if we will have water to bathe our children before school or to groom before finding a job. We are unable to get help without being made to feel as though we are lazy, worthless, and a drain on society. We are accused of using our children to weasel money out of “good citizens” when we simply cannot afford birth control or do not believe in it. We are uneducated and cannot keep up with the rising demand of degrees in the job market, and therefore are left without adequate pay to support ourselves and our families. We sometimes have no homes and are forced to rely on the kindness of strangers, when those strangers are taught to hate and fear us. We are pitied instead of helped, and ignored instead of understood.

I am also White. This racial identity cancels out the other elements of who I am. I am simply White. At least, that is a lot of what I am hearing from folks. Despite the fact I come from a long line of persecution, suffering, and minorities, I am still White. I am told that I should seek absolution every day for the things my ignorant, hateful, and wrong ancestors did and the things people of my race still do. I am told to be ashamed of my race, because we are granted privilege and freedoms. I am told I will never understand what it is like to be judged based on the color of my skin, and I will never know hardship or misfortune. I am told that everyone is colored by their individual privileges but mine is the worst of all, simply because I was born the way I was.

I am not denying that my race has privilege. America was built on the White ideal. I am not denying that I will never understand what it’s like to be a WOC (Woman of Color). I am not denying that some fucked up shit happened due to some fucked up white people, and I’m not denying that our world is still fucked up.

I am denying being ashamed. I will not be ashamed of my race. I will not spend every day making absolution for the things my forefathers and current fathers (and mothers, and brothers, and sisters and folks I would never want to be related to me in any way) do. I will not feel less simply because someone who has similar characteristics to me does things I do not agree with. I will stand with my fist raised to fight against any wrongdoings I see. I will stand with my White sisters as they fight to put down the apron, be equally compensated for their work, live a life where they are free to be unmarried and/or without child. I will stand with my Black sisters as they fight to live in a neighborhood without violence, to rally against the beauty ideals set down by their oppressors (as if white women have a hard time conforming then black woman aren’t even given a chance), to become educated and accepted in the professional world, and to gain every right that a White person has. I will stand with my Latin sisters and Chinese sisters and Russian sisters. I will stand with my Men who fight to be able to show emotion other than anger and power, who want to wear dresses or “feminine” colors, or want to raise children.

I will stand and I will fight.

So please, stop telling me I should be ashamed of who I am. Stop telling me I do not want “you” in my fight and that I do not include you in what I’m fighting for. Please stop making accusations about who I am and what I am about without knowing me. Please stop grouping me into a stereotype. I understand when you say “white” you really mean “Middle Class White” or even “Middle Class White Man”. I understand you are angry and frustrated. I understand that you are wronged and feel left out. Instead of lashing out at me, insulting, persecuting, please embrace me and let me embrace you. Please join hands with me and fight with me against my oppression and allow me to fight with you against yours. Please remind me of my ignorance when it happens to flare, and let me remind you that suffering is not exclusive to race, religion, gender, or ability.

I will fight with you, I will fight for you. I will listen to your hurt and shame and fury. I will be there for you and I will do whatever I can to become educated, to self-realize, and to alter my thinking process, actions, or misstep if needed. I promise to celebrate you, if we can celebrate our differences.

Just please, stop hurling accusations at me for things I do not do, for things I cannot control, and for people I do not associate with. Please stop believing we are all the same, and that our intention is to misuse, misunderstand and ignore you.