Cree

Celebrate America’s Next Top Model’s Acceptance

In Rants & Reflections on January 31, 2009 at 12:57 pm

I am not ashamed to say I watch ANTM and I enjoy it. It’s one of my dirty little pleasures, as is most reality television. I’m not blind to the stereotypes it perpetuates, and I’m not blind to the ego of the panel, and I’m not blind to the other negatives. It, like everything, is not perfect. However, I do feel that it takes on a lot of issues, and offers a lot of good things.

For instance, on the latest cycle (11) there was a transgender contestant, Isis. Isis had amazing talent and was actually recruited by Tyra. I think this is an amazing thing. While I know the fashion world tends to be more accepting of a variety of people, we have to keep in mind that this show is nationally broadcasted. It is a show which has touched nearly every country, including several international spinoffs. That means millions upon millions of people see Isis, a beautiful transgender woman, in the mainstream where normally transgenders are stashed away in the dark. Isis could have went really far in the competition, though I think she psyched herself out which caused her early dismissal. I also think it allowed people’s concerns and fears to be publicly broadcast, and perhaps even encouraged discussion about the subject.

Let me tell you, some of the contestant’s responses were cruel, and disgusting and shallow. I’m sure the producers cut out the more jabbing of comments, because it is a show afterall, but the fact it showed any negative responses at all is a positive thing, IMO. I think this demonstrates just how ugly these thoughts and words can be. I think it shows how closed-minded people are, and I think when the girls later view their performances they’re going to be embarrassed. While I don’t want anyone to be shamed for what they think and feel, I believe that shining a spotlight on someone can sometimes provide a little insight. Though I wish theirs was a little less public, it is what it is.

I know Isis had some problems with being uncomfortable on set concerning wearing a swimsuit because she is pre-surgery, and I wish someone would have told her that the staff has her back. I think if something were exposed that shouldn’t be, the photographer would have ripped a new asshole in the person who dared any negative response. Then I think Tyra would follow suit. As self-centric as Tyra is, I believe she is a good person and wouldn’t have any of that bullshit. That doesn’t speak to the rest of the show’s crew, especially Sutan (one of the hair/make-up people) who has appeared on the show in drag. I wish there would have been more people who stepped up to Isis and was like “don’t sweat it, I’ve got your back” and maybe she wouldn’t have sweated the small stuff.

Of course, I completely understand where her fears and anxiety come from. She is a victim of terrorism and has to deal with the thought, every day, that it might be her last because of some silly ass fool who can’t handle who she is. So many of the contestants made statements about how in control and self-confident Isis is, how she doesn’t let shit get her down. I had to smirk when they said this, and comment to my husband, “Yeah, if they had to come to peace with the fact they could die, just by living, they would be more confident in who they are too”.

I know the show is about modeling, and the acceptance issue isn’t even close to being at the top of the agenda, but I do wish more of the downtime could have been focused on this elephant in the room. I feel as though since Tyra never brought it up with the girls, everyone was just pretending it didn’t exist on the outside. Yet, I am thankful that the invisibility was lessened, because even one inch is positive movement.

(Paying homage to my idea of Reward instead of Punishment. I would like to also cheer ANTM for the plus-size winner last year.)

  1. I stumbled across your site today and I’ve been transfixed by your postings. It’s so refreshing to see something so honest about the ups and downs of being naturally curvy in a world that tells us that thin is better.

    You see I entered this world big from the beginning. I weighed in a few ounces shy of nine pounds and then I spent the rest of my life trying to live down a tiny three lettered word ‘big’. I hated being the big girl. At one point in my life I had so much black in my closet I thought I’d hear the voice of James Earl Jones as Darth Vader at any minute. Despite the fact that the average woman in the United States wears a size 14, finding fashionable clothing was like searching for a fountain in the desert. Many of the clothes available were unattractive to say the least. It was like the world said well you’re fat anyway so here’s some elastic waistbands and shapeless tents, cover up.

    Looking back now I realize my body was smoking back then but the fact was I was bigger than most of the girls I went to high school with, even though I had a nice body. However I thought at 5′8 I was supposed to be 115 pounds despite the fact I was the second to shortest woman in my family. I spent so much of my teenage years hating my body and feeling bad about myself that I didn’t know I was beautiful.

    We live in a country where bigger is generally better. People don’t usually want a small raise for their hard work, they want a big raise. When it’s time to buy a home or do some improvements most people go bigger. I’ve never heard Pat Sajak say let’s spin the slim wheel and contestants don’t generally shout “Little Money!” when they spin the wheel. And many of the same celebrities who are pitching for weight loss companies haven’t done so for a small payoff, they do it for big money. What producer wants to hear about svelte numbers at the box office? What television executive wants to hear about skinny ratings? And what fashion designer would swoon over a thin bottom line? Yet thin remained a major focus for me for many years.

    Then my life changed. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer at 23 years old. I underwent six years of chemo, biopsies and more surgical procedures than I’d like to remember. To top everything off I was a divorced working mother and sole parental supporter of my sons, so I spent many days going from chemo in the morning straight to work with a supply of, Compazine, airsickness bags, crackers, ginger ale and a very understanding boss. I can’t tell you how many days I spent lying on the bathroom floor green with nausea wondering how on earth anyone could want to make themselves sick just so they won’t gain weight.

    For the first time in my life I wasn’t focused on losing something, I was focused on gaining. I wanted more minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years to spend with my children. I was desperate to see my toddler sons grow up and to make it to my 30th birthday. It took a diagnosis of cancer to make me realize what truly counted in life and it wasn’t size; it’s love. However through chemo I met couples going through the depths of illness together and the love they showed one another touched me in the deepest part of my soul. It was then I decided to forget my obsession with size.

    As a result of cancer I lost a lot. Yet in a strange way I’m thankful for the lesson having a catastrophic disease taught me. I gained a new respect for life, refocused my life and I followed my dream to become a wedding planner, which is an area where you find many women struggling to lose weight in order to be a ‘perfectly sized bride’. So I decided to bring the insight I learned from my experience to communicate to brides to be that losing weight was not the key to happiness or being a beautiful bride. The key to feeling and looking beautiful begins with self love; a love that includes body acceptance, setting realistic goals for your body and living a healthy lifestyle, which is how Down That Aisle In Style A Wedding Guide For Full Figured Women was born so to speak.

    During the research stage of the book I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. In 1998 a major episode left me in a wheelchair for several months and I was forced to deal with MS head on. Being in the wheelchair gave me time to redirect my energy again. I was out of the wheelchair within six months and ready to take on the world. Since the book was published,I had the chance to bring full figured brides to the fore on The Insider/Entertainment Tonight, Get Married with David Tutera, NBC Today in New York and Eyewitness News Sunday Morning.

    The funny thing was is I didn’t want to stop there. Although I don’t have the juice to get a movie made, I decided to make my mark in romance chic lit books with a genre I call Big love. Instead of full figured characters playing a second banana role, I took them to the forefront as the heroine with a love life. It’s brought me so much satisfaction to portray full figured women as sexy, confident and someone who gets the guy.In Not His Type I
    stepped into an arena where skinny women generally rule, that of
    professional sports. Most high profile athletes are expected to date models, actresses, beauty queens and thin women in general as they are held out as the standard of beauty. I decided to flip the script (a saying courtesy of my twin 21 year old sons) and have a high profile baseball player fall for an average plus size woman, hence the title Not His Type. In April of 2008 I was honored to receive the Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award for Best
    African American romance. Bliss Inc. about a plus size wedding planner who finds herself in a sexy May- Indian Summer romance (she’s in her 40’s and I don’t believe that women in their forties or fifties are December. We still have plenty of heat and that’s why I call in Indian Summer) and The More Things Change (sequel
    to Not His Type) My fourth release Waiting for Mr. Darcy, about three plus size friends and their quest for romance will be out this fall.

    I’ve gotten such a great response from readers who connect with the stories. And some have written to let me know that they now feel emboldened to take a chance on love. I’m in the midst of writing my fifth novel at the moment which I hope will be out in 2010.

    Naturally, I’ve made it my business to pay attention to everything going on in the plus size world. And while I understand the health issues involved with maintaining a healthy lifestyle, a healthy attitude is just as important, so women shouldn’t judge their worth based on a tag or scale number.
    I also hope that Jessica Simpson finds your blog since she’s in the midst of this ridiculous nonsense about her gaining weight. I can’t believe someone thinks she’s big. In my opinion she looks and should totally own it. I learned that lesson the hard way and

    I sincerely hope others will realize that they’re worth it at any size because true health goes far beyond what you see in the mirror.