Reclaiming Bitch

Etmonline.com defines the origin of the word Bitch.

O.E. bicce, probably from O.N. bikkjuna “female of the dog” (also fox, wolf, and occasionally other beasts), of unknown origin. Grimm derives the O.N. word from Lapp pittja, but OED notes that “the converse is equally possible.” As a term of contempt applied to women, it dates from c.1400; of a man, c.1500, playfully, in the sense of “dog.” In modern (1990s, originally black English) slang, its use with ref. to a man is sexually contemptuous, from the “woman” insult.

“BITCH. A she dog, or doggess; the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of whore.” ["Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue," 1811]

The adj. bitchy “bad-tempered” (usually of females) is first attested 1925. The verb meaning “to complain” is at least from 1930, perhaps from the sense in bitchy, perhaps influenced by the verb meaning “to bungle, spoil,” which is recorded from 1823. But bitched in this sense seems to echo M.E. bicched “cursed, bad,” a general term of opprobrium (e.g. Chaucer’s bicched bones “(unlucky) dice”), which despite the hesitation of OED, seems certainly to be a derivative of bitch. And cf. the mid-19th century U.S. blackface minstrel song verse about women’s rights movement:

When woman’s rights is stirred a bit
De first reform she bitches on
Is how she can wid least delay
Just draw a pair ob britches on.

Insult son of a bitch is O.N. bikkju-sonr. Slang bitchen “good” is first attested 1950s. Bitch-goddess coined 1906 by William James; the original one was success.

Reading this, I am flabbergasted why any woman would want to be defined or referred to in this manner. As a term of contempt applied to women, it dates from c.1400; of a man, c.1500, playfully, in the sense of “dog.” Playfully? Really? Folks, you have to be kidding here. Really.

I get it. I get the whole reclaiming a word, trying to turn it into something which does not scald one to the very bone. I get the intellectual ideology behind this. Yet, I find myself asking Why the fuck would anyone want to reclaim such a word?

I say we should ignore its very existence. When someone uses that word in a derogatory manner, we should regard them in the very same way we would someone speaking another language. Instead of letting it affect us, instead of trying to reclaim it, why do we even acknowledge it? When so much of the world is built to oppress us right out of the gate, when we are conditioned to hate our bodies and to take as little space as possible, when the only acceptable way to be a woman is to be timid and fragile and quit, I get why we want to recondition ourselves to be strong. I get that we woman want to let the world know that strength is not a male attribute, that we can be powerful and bold and in-your-face. By using the word bitch to define one’s womanhood, I understand that they are trying to associate the word bitch with independence, choice, ambition. We were labeled with this word by the men of our past, without choice or agreement, and now we are trying to correct them, to reaffirm our place in the world.

I say fuck that. Since we were not given the right to decide whether we wanted it, or what definition and affiliations were given the word, why even give it credit? It is not a descriptive word where the definition was there before it was misaligned and misused. It is not like the word fat, or beautiful, or funny, or smart. These words have a definition which was put in place and only the reaction to the word is different as one’s culture changes. Instead bitch has always been an insult to the female. The negativity of it has never changed.

So that is why when a woman uses it to describe herself my heart weeps. I see blogs where women actually only refer to themselves using on this word. “This bitch” did this and “When I was a little bitch” and so on and so forth. When I see this, I struggle between AAAAAAAAAA! and wrapping them protectively in my arms before whisking them off for deprogramming. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we say we’re fighting the good fight, to be our own people, to live our lives the way we want to and yet still apply the same labels and thoughts and standards?

It just doesn’t make any sense. So next time someone uses this word to describe someone, just give them a blank stare. Next time the word bitch is spat in your direction, respond simply with “English Motherfucker, do you speak it?” Eliminate such filth from your vocabulary, from your memory, and from your future.

{Note: I have mulled over this post for quite a number of days. I’m not entirely happy with the way it came out, yet it is a notion I wish to express. So I am publishing this and welcome all feedback and I hope my words come across more cohesively to you than they do to me.}