Rachel over at The F-Word posted an exercise for her readers in reference to the epidemic of fat kids. I thought it was a great post and was interested to see what folks said. Unfortunately, I was quickly offended and taken back by some of the responses.
Several of the comments talked about what people purchase with their food stamps, passing judgment on a parent who chooses to buy pre-packaged food as opposed to cooking from scratch. I can’t help but feel those judgments just add fuel to the “eat healthy and be thin” fire. One comment stated people need to “learn to cook” and “If I were using food stamps, I’d do my damnedest to make that money stretch as far as possible, because we all know that it’s never enough as it is.” Leaving aside the fact this person is speaking from a hypothetical point of view (and one never knows what they would truly do in a situation until they are in it), let’s address what comments like these really say. If a parent doesn’t cook everything from scratch then they aren’t doing everything they know how to make their food stamps stretch. That if a parent doesn’t devote themselves to cooking then they are a bad parent.
One commenter offered “that it is your duty as a parent, rich or poor, to do the best by your child/ren that you can, and in my world, that does not include feeding them crap when you are on a budget.” Again, indicating because not everyone can be a champion in the kitchen, that they are a bad parent. Not everyone is blessed with skillz in the kitchen, and not everyone has the time to devote to learning or doing. Everyone’s mileage varies. I wonder if these people can realize that making others live by their own standards is the same as someone else making them live by theirs. It just gets ridiculous. Everyone cannot do the same things and we have to stop trying to make everyone fit into a box. Perhaps pre-packaged food is not the best, I’m not arguing that it is, but I don’t think it makes a parent less just because they cook from a box. My grandmother always believed it was more important to devote time to her family than to cook from scratch and keep the house clean. Was she a perfect mother? No, but she saved my life.
Thankfully there were a couple of commenters who really laid out the realities of trying to be a single parent and cook from scratch, as well as everything else, but I’m not sure the first commenters really listened.
Aside from that, as a fattie I live my life facing people every day who tell me if I just “show a little discipline” I could be thin and healthy like I should be. If I would just “eat the right foods (or go without food sometimes)” then I would be able to shed pounds and be beautiful. If I would just “exercise and watch what I eat” then I achieve a toned, healthy, beautiful body which will make men want to marry me (or, at the very least, have sex with me). There have been claims that fat people are causing global warming and the American deficit. I was recently sent a “joke” video called “three reasons to quit drinking” where one man awoke to find a pair of plus-sized panties in his bed. In another clip the man awoke to having a dismembered arm handcuffed to his wrist, and the third was a man who awoke with a chimp in a very provocative position. So, having sex with a fat person is associated with having sex with animals and dismembered bodies. Seriously. Look at the correlation between those phrases and associations and things like “people need to learn to cook” and “… the day I buy frakkin’ Lunchables for my son will also be the day I vote Republican, become a Christian, and buy an SUV”.
When are we, as unique individuals, ever going to understand that not everyone is the same? That people have to make decisions and do what they think is best for themselves, even if we don’t agree and that /doesn’t/ make those people any less. Yes, a capitalist can be a good person. Hell, a /Republican/ can be a good person. Just like fatties can be good people, or drunks, or Christians, or convicts. Get off your fuckin’ high horse folks.
